


love language

by tensbaek



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Song fic, like barely mentioned, soobin is a good boyfriend, they are in love, unnamed cat - Freeform, yeonjun has baggage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28384824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tensbaek/pseuds/tensbaek
Summary: So he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. Sue him.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	love language

**Author's Note:**

> hello i haven’t written and completed anything in two years so i’m sorry for. this. but i was thinking abt yeonjun when love language by ariana grande came on shuffle and couldnt help myself hehe
> 
> this is unedited because it’s 2am. sorry abt that... enjoy!

Choi Yeonjun doesn’t have the best experience when it comes to love. 

His first boyfriend was like any first love, falling hard fast and burning out even faster. He thought the breakup was the toughest weight he’d ever have to carry but in hindsight it really wasn’t a big deal. He thinks fondly of him now. 

His first girlfriend was an angel, _is_ an angel. Their love felt like sunbathing in august and their end felt like swimming in december, but it wasn’t at the fault of either of them. She was taken too soon, and no one saw it coming. Sometimes he’s still blinded by the pain. 

His third boyfriend was a terrible person. Yeonjun was still in a vulnerable spot when they met, and he took that to his advantage. He was manipulative, he was a narcissist, and he did not care for Yeonjun. But at the time Yeonjun thought he was great, thought he couldn’t survive without him. Felt like he needed him to breathe. 

Yeonjun realised he never knew how to breathe, not until he fell for Soobin. 

Soobin has been a constant in Yeonjuns life ever since grade 3 when Yeonjun fell over on black ice crossing a road and Soobin slid over to pull him out of the road like the disney hero he is. 

Yeonjun had been mortified but Soobin didn’t think it was a very big deal at all. He had noticed the blush creep up the back of Yeonjuns neck and he heard the stutter in his voice, and so he offered to walk Yeonjun home in case he fell again. 

And so every day for the rest of that winter, Soobin met Yeonjun at the same spot after school. 

They went to seperate schools and lived on different sides of towns. Yeonjun lived on the side of town where people have too many cars and not enough personality and Soobin lived on the side of town where everyone knows each other’s names. 

Their schools were close, and so they’d walk the same way home for some time before splitting. Yeonjun liked to walk home after school to avoid seeing, or not seeing, his parents and Soobin walked home after school because his mother worked at that time and he had no other choice. 

It wasn’t until the next winter that Yeonjun realised Soobin didn’t usually walk home that way and it added twenty minutes to his walk, but he wanted to walk Yeonjun home and so the older didn’t protest. He liked Soobins company.

Eventually they started hanging out in times that didn’t require Yeonjun to be escorted home and their friendship blossomed into something greater. The two of them were best friends, spent every second out of school together, and up until the second year of University Yeonjun had no clue how Soobin felt about him. 

Looking back on it now, he doesn’t know how he didn’t see it. The walking him home, the constant checkups, the sleepovers at Soobins house so Yeonjun didn’t have to hear his parents fighting, the way Soobin looked at him when he won a game, the way Soobin let him get away with cheating, the way Soobin looked at him when they went to the beach. There’s so many instances where it was clear as day and so Yeonjun really has no excuse for the way he reacted when Soobin finally told him. 

He had dropped the fake cacti in his hands the minute Soobin had gripped the back of their shared dining room table chair and said, _“It_ is _because you're all I can think about.”_

The words themselves could have been said as a weightless joke, a fun back and forth platonic flirtatious banter between two bros, but they both knew it wasn’t. It couldn't have been when the words that had triggered the life ending sentence were, _“You look after me so well, but you never date or sleep with anyone. Have you even kissed anyone- other than Huening Kai that one time because it doesn’t count. If I wasn’t as smart as I am I’d think it’s because you couldn’t stop thinking about me.”_

So he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. Sue him. 

Neither of them say anything for a long while. Yeonjun has no idea what Soobin is thinking, he barely knows what _he’s_ thinking. His mind is moving a mile a minute and he’s thinking too fast, creating so many questions all at once. Remembering all the signs. 

There’s so many words screaming at him, trying to break free into the silence hanging between them, but all Yeonjun can do is make a joke. _“It’s because of those hot pants I wore on Halloween, isn’t it?”_

Soobin doesn’t look very amused when he says, _“Far longer than that, Hyung.”_

 _“Since when?”_ He asks, but he’s terrified of the answer. Why did it have to be that question his brain settled on. 

_“Since I was standing in front of a lolly shop mid december watching a pretty boy fall on his ass in the middle of a road.”_ Soobin says. He looks guilty, and Yeonjun doesn’t know why Soobin looks guilty and he doesn’t know why he feels like he was just punched in the gut. 

_“I need some air.”_ Yeonjun had said. 

It took him three days and a kick in the ass from Taehyun and Beomgyu before he faced Soobin again, walking into their shared apartment and saying, _“That was a crisp walk.”_ Before being engulfed in a hug. 

In those three days Yeonjun had gone through a couple of things. First, it was anger. That came in two fun and quirky parts. 

He was mad that Soobin hadn't told him this whole time, mad because he thought Soobin had been selfish. Mad because he thinks they’ve wasted so much time. Mad because he could’ve been Soobins for years now. 

And mad because he blamed Soobin for the pain Yeonjun had been inflicted with over the years. If Soobin had told him sooner he wouldn’t have dated the people he did, lost the people he did. 

But he realised quickly that he was being incredibly stupid. As much as all of his past relationships had hurt he wouldn’t take them back. Maybe the last one, but the first two held so many fond memories in Yeonjuns heart. If he didn’t have them what was he supposed to pull out of the depths of his memory to feel warm on lonely days. 

And when was Soobin supposed to tell him between all of Yeonjuns heartbreaks and rebounds. He’s confronted with the fact that maybe he was the selfish one 

Then fear came. Fear because he realised maybe he’s felt this way about Soobin for a while, and was too blinded to acknowledge it. And fear because when it comes to relationships he is so, so broken. He doesn’t want to hurt him and he especially doesn’t want to lose him. He wouldn't survive that loss. 

He voices all of these concerns after Soobin lets him out of his suffocating embrace, and Soobin listens. He always listens. 

He assures Yeonjun that he’s in, he’s in one hundred percent and he’s ready for anything. He knows Yeonjun better than anyone, and he understands Yeonjuns history. He experienced it second hand. 

And he was scared too. He admitted to Yeonjun that he was always too scared to tell him because he thought he knew Yeonjun didn’t feel the same as he did, and he didn’t want to lose Yeonjun as much as the older didn't want to lose him. 

They talk until the sun rises and Yeonjun agrees to go on a date with Soobin, because they're going to take this slow and they are going to do it the right way. Soobin kisses Yeonjun goodnight because he just can’t wait any more and Yeonjuns stomach flips so hard he almost folds in on himself. 

After months of dating, months of kissing each other goodnight outside of Yeonjuns door, months of waking up next to each other in Soobins bed, Yeonjun starts doubting himself. 

Soobin is so good to him. He probably thinks the things he does for Yeonjun go unnoticed but Yeonjun tells him differently one night as they’re laying together in Soobins bed. The blinds are open because Soobin likes to see the stars and the moon as he sleeps, he says seeing space makes him feel comforted. Yeonjun doesn’t get it because to him space is terrifying, but Soobins skin under the moonlight is one of Yeonjuns favourite images and so he doesn’t complain. 

_“I promise it’s the little things that you do,”_ Yeonjun says. It doesn’t really make sense, and prior to that theyd been laying in comfortable silence. But Soobin knows what he means. 

_“You notice that stuff?”_ Soobin says in a quiet voice, trying desperately to not disturb the peace between them. 

But then Yeonjun makes a sound of, _of course, duh!_ and it’s broken. He says, _“You know I do.”_

Soobin smiles and Yeonjuns stomach does that thing it did when Soobin kissed him for the first time, and the second time, and the third time, and

And Yeonjun keeps going. _“It’s been awhile since I’ve felt something so safe. So sweet. You’re so sweet to me, Soobinie.”_

 _“Sometimes I worry I’m going to give you diabetes.”_ Soobin jokes and Yeonjun feels his cheeks start to hurt. 

_“I take back everything I’ve said, you corny fucker.”_

But it’s true. Even though his first two loves were everything, they weren’t like this. And his third completely broke him, broke his self worth and his trust and although he was working on improving on that himself, he can’t lie and say being loved by Soobin didn’t help at all. 

Sometimes Yeonjun wakes up and doubts himself. Doubts Soobin. Thinks they’re only in this because of proximity and accessibility, that Soobin couldn’t find anyone and so Yeonjun would do, because Yeonjun would fawn over anyone who was nice to him at this point. 

It’s like Soobin is teaching Yeonjun how to love himself, and how to love someone else all over again. Yeonjun is slowly unlearning what's not right. 

He soothes Yeonjun when he’s feeling anxious, he reassures Yeonjun about things before he even thinks about them, he makes sure he’s clear with Yeonjun and he always makes sure they talk honestly about how they feel. 

Yeonjun is rebuilding his walls but they’re shaping around Soobins, and there’s nothing he can do about that. 

They’ve been together for a year now and neither of them have said those three words, despite the pair knowing that they do love each other. Soobin knows Yeonjun isn’t ready to hear it and so he’s letting Yeonjun take the wheel. He’s letting Yeonjun say it first, and that means everything and then some to Yeonjun. 

He almost says it after his last class on the day the first snow of winter fell. He left his building to find Soobin there, shivering slightly because he never thinks he needs many layers despite the negative degrees, and he smiles at him. Yeonjun asks him what he’s doing there and Soobin says, _“Walking you home. I can't have you falling face first into some cute freshman.”_

Yeonjuns knees feel weak. 

He says it on any other day. A Tuesday, in fact. Yeonjun has been studying all day when he smells the aroma of bacon waft into his room. He wanders into the kitchen to find Soobin in the ugliest pair of pjs he’d ever seen, ( _“I am_ not _kissing you while you’re wearing pjs with pyjama print on them. You know you’re wearing pjs with pjs on them right?”_ ) singing along happily to Ariana Grandes new album. 

He’s using the spatula as a microphone and once he spots Yeonjun in the kitchen he leans towards him and sings the lines _“I aint trying to sign no lease, I’m just gon’ make you my home”_.

Yeonjun hears it before he thinks it. “You’re an idiot. And I love you.” He says, and then Soobin is dropping his spatula to grab Yeonjuns face, almost bruising his lips with the intensity that he kisses them with. 

He pulls away with the same urgency as he had kissed him, but his palms are still squishing Yeonjuns cheeks together. _“I’m sorry, I should’ve given you a minute. You were surprised by that too I saw it. I’m sorry.”_

He pulls away and goes to pick up the spatula that dropped onto the kitchen floor (that had narrowly missed their cat) and Yeonjun is overtaken with love and so he doesn’t stop himself when he says _“I love you.”_ again and grabs Soobin by the waist, kissing him like he has nothing to prove. 

When they come up for air they're half laying under their coffee table, their cat chasing Yeonjuns foot every time he moves it. Soobin brushes a stray hair out of Yeonjuns face, as he should because it’s his fault it’s there in the first place, and says, _“I love you, too.”_

Choi Yeonjun didn’t have the best experience when it came to love, but he thinks he’s doing alright now.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, tell me what you thought in the comments because i’m experimenting with this writing style and im not sure about it and while you’re there leave a kudos so i feel motivated to finish my sunkyu (the boyz) fic lol


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